It's just like the Real World with babies
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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