I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
