Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
This is the high leading the old right now
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
