cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
