look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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