Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
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