I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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