Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
