my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm both gender and math confused
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
