4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
