Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
