her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
