It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
