Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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