I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
