Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
