YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
