So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
