just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
pop tarts are not kleenex
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
