That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
