wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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