A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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