he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I cut my penus on the lid.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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