No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We got so high we made milksteak
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
