i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
