mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
