I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
