just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
