is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
