im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
