How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
