I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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