Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
