Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
