I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
