I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
