What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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