**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Say something about gay babies.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
