i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
