I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
