We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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