but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
