My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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