Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the room spins SO much faster in panama
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
