I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
