is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
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