help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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