It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
