I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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