I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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