so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
